almost 23rd and couting

wow, it's almost thrusday..and the date is approaching. I feel a bit better from the past blogs I've written. I do have periods of panic attack though, especially in the morning as I wake up to realize that the date is cleary near. But God has made me feel better and composed. I told him that I'll place my burden on him and it is his responsibility from now on. I will perform and be my best from the qualities of persistence, strength and courage he has given me and will continously provide. In faith I have to believe and endure.

My mom has been extremely supportive since sunday, which makes me feel soo much better and controlled. I love her b/c she is doing this. :) She told me to stop moping and need to balance my life with rest breaks and socialization and stimulation. I was moping so much and looked literally like a zombie that she forced me come out from the house with her and join the rest of the society to a little open house visit and a nice lunch at donkin dounuts. It was a great break, until we head off to the 99 cent store , where we spent almost of our afternnon break. I got claustrophobic and antsy walking trough aisles in the same store ..for what seemed like forever. it was more than 30min i can say..and I needed new stimulation. I had to drag my mom out of that store to head off to the car. My heart was pounding like I was going to have a heart attack. It as probably racing faster b/c of the coffee i drank. Great.

In retrospect, yeah, a 2-3 hour break does me very good. I defintely need a balance. I don';t know how i got trhough grad shcool with very little breaks. I guess my mind is telling me from the cumlative studies that I need to relax and balance my life with a good productivity of work, rest and leisure.