Monday, January 31, 2005


after listening to a christian music from avalon's song, "testify" i realized that all the past disappointing events and failures are so minuscule to the purpose of life and its higher calling. Sometimes, you are consumed with the littlest events in life..negative thoughts, and people...bitterness...thinking why is this happening to me...again .etc.. that you're paralyed in a cycle and can't move on. So after listening to this song it gave a fresh perspective that all is not about you and that there is (of course) a higher being who is very caring, wise, unfathomable beyond my intelligence and human understanding and has loving control of my life. And that each day I should attempt to see God's reflection in nature and within humans, and act humbly with wisdom in every conditions at work, social events, family etc. I'm glad that God gave me today's insight. I feel better, less burdened and liberated.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Listening to steven curtis chapman

"We are not home yet..keep on looking ahead" is playing in my stereo. Reminds me pursue the things not currently seen and keep going. :)

Found an interesting blog statement...
Thanks for the blog. great keeps me inspired..I hope you don't mind

A New Beginning
Before there can be a new beginning, there has to be an ending. That's a hard reality at times. Letting go is not easy, especially if we are letting go of something that feels essential to our life.

When Jesus said that 'It is finished', was it a cry of triumph? Or was it an exhausted sigh of relief? Or was it a moment of darkness, feeling all was lost? Perhaps we tend to read it as a cry of triumph because we know this ending led to a wonderful new beginning. Maybe Jesus was in touch with that too, but I hold open the possibility that in His real humanity He might have felt the anguish of an ending much as we do.

We don't know what Jesus felt at that moment. But we do know that through all the devastating events that led to the end of His earthly life, Jesus maintained a bedrock trust in God. Through the eyes of thouse watching this was the worst possible ending anyone could endure. By God's grace and power it was about to become a far better beginning than anyone could imagine.

"Lord, help me to trust that each of my endings leads to a beginnning filled with Your grace and power. Amen."

- John 19:17-37 -

Thursday, January 20, 2005


Okay, this is going to sound corny, but I actually have a starting collection of quotes/statements which have inspired and motivated me to see things differently. I thought I would share one that capitvated me. It has a biblical theme to it.

So why did we feel so trapped? Why did I feel like I had no options in my life when it seemed that options were the only thing I did have. More than anything, I wanted to break free. But free from what? That was the problem. Becuase I didn't know what I wanted to break from. I was stuck.
- Augusten Burroughs

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Flushing - pot stew

You run into very..very strange ppl in Starbucks and the Flushing Library. It's an eye opener becuase you start to realize that they are closer than you think. I saw a lady talking to an imaginary person to her right, an asian late 60's year old lady who collects newpapers immediately after it's been read. If the newspaper is on the table with no reader, she does not pick it up. Only the freshly used.....can I say OCD. I also saw ppl with weird habits. A man with a headphone breathing loudly in/out through his mouth, a woman licking her finger tips before turning the pages of a newspaper..Doesn't she know she's licking the ink off her fingers? !!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Daily things that was said and done in my household

Got this from a random internet site.

You have a container full of Kim-Chee in your fridge right now.

Your parents start singing when drunk.

Your parents think church is a social event.- SO true

"No-Rae-Bang" is a common household word.

Everyone asks if you're Chinese.

Your parents think anything goes with rice.

"Glue? Use rice, it’s better"

Your mom rents korean soap operas and watches them daily.- and watches 3 videos in a roll

Sleeping on the floor is nothing new to you.

Your parents yell your korean name REAL loud in public places.

You think ramen is the fifth food group.-with cheese is actually yummy

You have to translate for your parents when ordering fast food.

Your family owns a dry cleaning place, liquor store, or grocery store.

Your mother has a short haired, curly perm.

You ask your parents help on your math homework and 2 hours later they're still lecturing you about how they knew it in 4th grade.

You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.

You've had a bowl haircut in one part in your life.

You've had to sit through karaoke videos with ugly asian women attempting to dance in a temple or park.

You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hotdogs.- actually some are yummy

Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors.

You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah) every time someone calls you.

Your parents insist you marry someone Korean.

People see a bunch of scribble on chopsticks and ask you to translate.

Your parents simply cut off the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway, it’s good for you."- or say eat will make you prettier or thinner

Your parents have either forced you to play the piano, violin, or both.

You have rocks, sticks, leaves, deer antlers, and other strange smelling substances for medicine.

Your parents read about some super nerd who has no life and got in the paper for scoring highest in the SAT’s and ask why you can't be more like him.

When you go to buffets, your parents make you eat until you think you're going to hurl, and even after you do, they say, "good, eat more."
- yells at me becuase I placed bread, noodles instead of expensive food items such as king crab legs and all you can eat shrimps.

Your parents never participated in the "American" traditions of Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy.

After you're get off the phone with someone from the opposite sex, your parents will start interrogating you about that person (except the last one). You'll talk to someone from the opposite sex two days in a row, and your parents immediately think there's something going on.

You bring home straight As, and your parents say, "So? You're supposed to get that!"

Tuesday, January 11, 2005


I picked up a book I haven't read since high school. It says:

The letter of James shows one of the church's early pastors skillfully going aout his work of confronting, diagnosing and dealing with areas of misbelief and misbehavior that had turned up in congregations committed to his care. Deep and living wisdom is on dislay here, wisdom both rare and essential. Wisdom is not primarily knowing the truth, although it certainly includes that; it is skill in living. For, what is good is a truth if we don't know how to live it? What good is an intention if we can't sustain it?

- The Message by Eugene H Peterson
It was a book my big uncle and aunt gave as a christmas gift

With prayers during hard times or reading The Book when emotinally struggling, it is not in its full use when wisdom is not applied daily.

Stuggled with an issue today and felt soooo down. I feel a bit better now and hopeful. God is soo good to rely on.

Sunday, January 09, 2005


I joined my sister to the APPLE SOHO store to fix her IPOD. Because of the long line and the long reservation ahead of us, we decided to shop around for a good 2 hours. Across the street I saw a beautiful coat in a boutique store ( least beknown to me, it was a Marc Jacob store). A petite girl entered through the store door...(i was thinking she looks like Sofia Coppola).. before I entered. She turned around, held out the door for me and said "sorry" with the smile. MY GOSH!!!... I was star struck. For about 5- 7 minutes I stared at her at a distance like an idiot. My body frozed as well as my face (with a big grin). I couldn't approach her and in despair I thought I shouldn't say hello. ...but I couldn't leave without her autograph! So finally she came over to my sister and I ..i guess she was annoyed and I pulled up a nerve to ask. Thankfully she was nice and conceded. I was soo nervous in front of her and said something like I love your movie (Lost in Translation- filmed in Japan) especially the part when that Japanese woman...(couldn't finish the sentence because she looked up at me)...Sofia was probably thinking...arr..they were millions of Japanese women in that movie. Greeaaat......i must have looked like a fool.

Well Sofia, if you ever come across this page, I really do love your movie, especially the part when the women asked Bill Murry to rriiippp her panty hose, then rolled around the carpet. That scene is a classic!

Saturday, January 08, 2005

I've gained sooooooooo much weight!

My gosh! Today I realized I couldn't get into a suit I bought 5 years ago! I've gained so much , an estimate of 10 to 15 lbs that i can only pull my skirt up to my knees! What is interesting is that the suit is a size 2. Funny...I just bought a size 2 pants from the Gap and banana...Is there something wrong here? Did the company upgrade their size but forgot to change the number? What a scam! They must have doubled the size and marketed 1/2 less. grr...and I thought I was a skimming size 2!

well at least there is one clothing line that I don't need to worry about .... shoes! My sis, cousin and I have been "major" shopping at DSW. Everytime we exist their doors, we leave with bags and bags of shoes! :) I love shoes..especially the pretty ones!

IOPD! I thought this was suppose to make your life easier and increases your free time. But instead it waste your time because you spend hours downloading music files.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Orphans of Tsunami

as of today the natural Tsunami disaster killed 147,000 human lives and probably will affect millions with malnutrition, disease, long term physical disablities, (mental) PTSD, and orphanages. In hindsight I can see potential international aide programs develop for locals. ..specially for orphans as they are more vulnerable to malnutrition, criminal mischief, crowded orphanages with little sensory experiences, hence develop delays in their developmental milestones.
Wow, it is an eye opener to realize how one disaster causes a cascade of multiple problems. It's never over.

Onto another topic...I'm addicted to Josh Groban's music. How talented he is! His current tour is sold out! :( Amazing voice comes out from a young 21 yr old!
check out the talent at

Thursday, January 06, 2005

while web surfing I found that I am a

You Are the Individualist


You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.

You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.

You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.

Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

You Are a Beagle Puppy

Cheerful, energetic, and happy go lucky.
And your sense of smell is absolutely amazing!

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

Your Element Is Earth

You excel at planning and strategizing.
You could be a champ at chess or Survivor.

Well grounded, you are able to be realistic and rationalize.
On the inside, you have a hard core. It's tough to phase you.

You are super productive, and you are able to think anything through.
Focused and super charged, your instincts are a good guide for your next step.

and that these tests are quite addictive.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Happy New Years

Happy 2005! I need to remind myself not to date 2004. About 5 years ago, I wrote down those "what I want to acheive within 5 years" goals. Amazingly, I've achieved some of them. Wow, the enormity of writing down your thoughts, conflicting emotions, ideas, dreams and mini goals on a piece of paper can drive a person to will everything and accomplish what seemed dubious at that time.
So what is my new years goal? Well, I REALLY need to lose the weight I've gained the last couple of years. I was never the one to exercise, but after looking at my summer photos, I realized ..boy..I am fat! So my short term goal is to lose a couple of pounds by eating healthy, and walking home from the train station.