Sunday, February 27, 2005

Suh and Yoo

Last night i met with my first cousins to discover more of the history of our family, share pictures and build a family tree. So finally i got to see a picture of my grandmother who passed away when my father was 15 years old. I have always imagined how she would look like, how she would be be. I looked for some similarities when i saw the photo and saw that I as well as the majority of my cousins have her cheekbones and jaw line. It was an amazing feeling because we all have something from her. And she seem more real than my imagination. I also saw videos of my grandmother's sister, and my distant cousins..and it dawn on me that before seeing their faces on tv, I would have passed them in the street and greeted them as a stranger rather than a family member. The "Yoo" surname was viewed with nonchalant. Now it's seem honorable and respectful. The next time I meet someone with the Yoo last name i could be thinking, "hey, we could be related".

There are a lot of unraveling to do within our family. There exist lots of unfortunate events but also happy and memorable stories to share. It made me think of how blessed I am to have a wonderful extended family.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Takeshi Kaneshiro::2- and a blind date

Takeshi Kaneshiro::2
Originally uploaded by kikuchi*.
Hey, someone took the nice picture of the pretty boy actor. I guess sharing pics is out of the question for some.
So, i found another one. Isn't he soo effortlessly handsome. So pretty.

In the meanwhile, my friends have been telling me about internet sites like eharmony and Kinda interesting but, it's so unorthodox. To sum it up, its similar to a blind date, but your range of opportunites is bigger. Speaking of blind date. I remember my mom setting me up with a friend's client's nephew etc...To make the story short, my mom never met this man, told me to meet him outside in a hour, and take him out to lunch. He drove up to the driveway..he looked like an old man yet he was in his 20s. He was nice, old fashioned but had very crooked teeth, and wore what looked like a fabio shirt. A couple of thick wirelike black chest hairs sprouted from his shoe- laced shrit. It was terrible. I couldn't believe my mom put me up to this. Overall, he was polite, but i couldn't see myself with him. Physical attraction is not my first priority as I'm sure some visual men see my features as unattractive. What can I say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But he was really out of my potential range. Worse of all, we had language barrier.but i was able to catch this statement- "yeah i guess we can date"...(um sounds real convincing). He wanted to exchange numbers, but I left his car with only his.

Anyways, I'm feeling stressed as the month ends and as the deadline approaches very near. Man, I just had to pray so that i can trust in God and find strength in him. Even asked a friend to pray for me, which she did immediately on the phone. Felt comforted by a good friend who helped put things into perspective after hearing her prayer. Her words meant a lot to me, and with both of us praying together, my message to God seem stronger.
- Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will revew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. - isaiah 40: 31.

Friday, February 25, 2005

something inspirational

I woke up today with another round of routines to do..but before that I watched some tv to get out the groggy mode. The good morning america morning show had a special story on this young girl, ashley tang, who showed courage, strength and wisdom beyond her young years. She said I don't want to ppl to feel sorry for me or be remembered with pity. Thus she showed leadership qualities in her community and dedicated her daily actions and goals in memory of her parents.
In relevance, well i had to reflect and think about my life after hearing this. I felt humbled. She is only 18 years old and has shown strength that is not ususally seen in her age. At the toughest of time, ppl have shown something- a single amazing performance. But i think she has shown endurance. Depsite what happened to her, she's shown no resentment, continues to smile and shows huge compassion. No mask and no time to wallow in the mud.
Here is the story.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

thank you God.. i wouldn't have gotten it without you

Thank you God. Today i finally received my diploma via mail, and it was such an amazing feeling of relief and happiness. This is what I've been waiting for soo long. I was crying inside because i poured my sweat into this. To have this sitting on my dresser brought comfort that I got through it this far and have couple of more things to do till the offical day of work. bye bye school.

So I showed my mom my diploma. And here is what she said:
me: i finally got my m.s dipolma and I worked hard for it.
mom: why? It wasn't medical or law school.
me: ah..thanks mom. ouch..(typical frist answer from her). i feel so much better.
Despite what she said, I have to listen and love her anyway. She supported me financially through school. It would have been rough if i had to support my living condition and go to school at the same time.
15 minutes later..
mom: (comes into the bedroom while I'm studying because no one is watching tv in the living room). What is going on here? You're studying so late. Should i get you anything? Do you want anything..something warm...? are you hungry? etc, etc... (compensation?)
Thanks for being understanding mom.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


Originally uploaded by bello.
just had to share this. it's so cute. i love ernie. Rubber ducky , you're the one.

Relaxation techniques

Originally uploaded by bello.
I never believed in it (deep breathing and visualization), and I was forced to think it actually worked, but I thought I should give it a try since getting a good massage was out of my budget. To my amazement, it actually worked and helped me feel better. I instantly felt relaxed and refreshed.

Thinking of a massage, i recall my first experience which was at Lucky Cheng's. It was such as weird experience, although it totally relaxed my shoulders and my back. He started out loosening my upper back, then my shoulders and rest of my arms. But then he pried my hands open, placed them on his chest so that I can feel his pecs contract and throb against my palms. I had to look away. It was so disgusting and embarrassing. I should have known especially when it was held at Lucky Cheng's.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

other pics.

for my sweetie.
Originally uploaded by shilly shally.
great pics. for all those who didn't have a valentine, i give out my heart to you.

it's sooo cold here

Originally uploaded by

ah..i can feel the warm breeze, and my skin soaking the inviting sun rays...i suddenly cough, become oriented and realize i'm in the brisk and windly park, walking my dog for his morning ritual.' so cold here that my red hands throb as i enter my warm apartment. ever heard of regional stereotypes. ie. people from Cali go to the beach, are superficial; NYers are paranoid, and wear all black. I tested this stereotype and although it doesn't appy to everyone, it rings some truth. NYers see Cali like Englishmen view Americans. I wonder how Boston sees NYers?

Saturday, February 19, 2005

protrastinating II

Originally uploaded by breton.
yes, and it is infectious. Yesterday, i studied for 6 hours straight, had dinner with my cousin at a malaysian restaurant (Sentosa..yummy!), came home with wrist pain and put ice on it, entertained my cousin, and rested my hand. The next day i bummed by watching tv,and surfing the internet. Came across some great pics. Maybe this can serve as a motivator. ah...the tranquility. This picture is of Peru. I am thinking one day I'll do a global volunteer there. Hope this will serve as a inspiration to keep perservering. I can't wait to finish studying for my boards.

Friday, February 18, 2005


adam levine
Originally uploaded by jammed.
Currently listening to maroon 5, watching everybody loves raymond, thinking about someone and studying ...all at the sametime.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


You ever felt obligated to call back? I have this dilemma of calling back just because I feel that its the nice thing to do. I am hestitant because that person might become even more angry after my phone call. What ever should i do....? Maybe i'm thinking too much..and should just get it over with. (sigh). Or maybe I'm taking this to seriously.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

quote of the day

I caught up on my leisure reading and found great quotes from the book Tuesdays with Morrie, my third read. everytime i pick up that book, i find new meaning.

Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do. Accept the past as past without denying it or discarding it. Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others. Don't assume that it's too late to get involved.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

i finally realized it

While walking through my apartment hallway, it became clear.....i grew up in a christian household, attended christian fellowship during college, and went through a rollercoaster of spiritual highs and lows. After all these years you would think i became spiritually mature. But today, just now i realized that Christ died for us just to prove us that we can totally trust in Him. Why doubt this God when He has already proven he loves us by willingly sacrificing himself, without any obligation except a love in return. There shouldn't be any doubt or pity in myself. God did something I should be so joyful and grateful about.

This year has been spiritual struggle, and of deep thoughts. God suddenly came in the picture after a long ..long 7 year hiatus. I know my enteries have been strange..talking about spirits..and such. But i believe this has been an awakening, a moment where I can be really honest about myself.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

kick em in the butt

i was so angry and annoyed with this person, that I channeled that energy to an aerbic exercise. I was envisioning kicking that person with all my might and emotions while doing the high kick up the aerobic steps. GRR....ahhhhh!!!! and boy did i feel better.

now about forgiving that person...i'm trying but I know it will take time. Harboring resentment is so deadly.

Monday, February 07, 2005

no man is an island

Originally uploaded by naeng-myon.
Looks heartbreaking right? yeah..i suppose, but it brings back memories of when i had it hung on my college dorm wall. I thought, gosh I have so many things to do, dreams and goals to fulfill, and thoughts of how, why and when to fulfill them. It was quite a motiviating piece..execpt it had a flaw to my interpretation. I was alone. Learning from my clinicals and just life experience itself, i realized I cannot do things alone. I am always connected with others both positively or negatively and that "no man is an island". Work is never achieved by one man, rather a collaboration from all you are connected with.

Sunday, February 06, 2005


For the past month, I've been practicing this diet system of not eating after 7pm. So far the system been helping as I lost a few pounds, but it's very hard to commit to. There are periods of starvation and gorging. overall, i think i lost a few pounds in the past 3 weeks. now it's 9:54 pm and i am very hungry, and lightheaded. ah.... I want some Naeng- myun !(drool).

not only am I hungry for food, i'm starving for distraction. I don't think i can wake up everyday with a sole purpose to study. i know i'm pressed for time but i'm so tired of it. I NEED to balance my life..get out and get some fresh air. i'm burnt out to the crisp. I'm often thinking about other things (wishful thoughts) rather than the books.

Friday, February 04, 2005

two consecutive nights of tossing and turning

arg..i can't fall asleep no matter how hard I try. i've had nightmares in the past couple of nights. what's wrong with me! I have too many thoughts running in my head. I tried studying..but my gosh..who wants to study at 2:30am.