Saturday, April 30, 2005

good to know when things get rough

While trying to find out the abbrev to the personality test, I stumbled onto that gives a scientic analysis.
My result: You are an observer.

That means you're one of the more kind-hearted people around. You are unusually intuitive, and you probably understand yourself, as well as others. That also means you're a good mediator — though you may prefer to spend more quiet time on your own than most.

Because of the self-knowledge you already possess, you are better equipped than many to steer your life in the right direction. Understanding more about the components of your personality will reveal unique information that even people like you might not realize. And the better you know yourself, the more confident you'll be making decisions that affect your life.

How do we know this about you? Because while taking the test, you answered questions that measure the basic traits that make up your personality. We scored your answers on different personality characteristics and discovered not only that you're an Observer, but where you stand on those proven scientific scales.

fun tests

Took a test to find out what american cities best fit me:
60% San Francisco
50% Miami
50% New York City
50% San Diego
50% Washington, DC

What's your Personality? :

The Caregiver ESFJ
You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.

You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher
You got the healthcare part right.

The Nurturer ISFJ
You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.
I've always wanted to be these three during H.S.

a night out

Last night, I went to see the movie, Sin City, a popular comic I recognized since my days at bio-med class in high school. This h.s. classmate of mine actually got away with class lectures with probably a very persuasive reason and illustrated during the whole class hour. My nerves were quite shocked when I left the theater. The movie was dark, and depressing, but had great cinematography.
To undo the numbness, my friend and I head off to chinatown to eat pho at Tai Pho (great place!), and then to a wine-beer bar at 51st and 3rd. With no backround edu. in wine, the waiter recommended red wine with a rich aroma. A glass got me buzzed quickly.
Now that I'm done with school, and in a search for a job, my 2nd search is now for a husband, as my friend recommended. Yikes.

Friday, April 29, 2005


Live each day to its fullest, knowing that God will take you each step of the way today, and the next.

Thursday, April 28, 2005


sunset beach1
Originally uploaded by Koppuh.


Originally uploaded by Koppuh.


Eucalyptus Tree, Inverewe Garden
Originally uploaded by itmpa.
Picture of a Eucalyptus Tree, Inverewe Garden
Looks so peaceful. I imagine the eucalyptus smell. (sniff..ahhhh!!!)and envision myself lying on the grass and looking up. I can feel my tensions melt away.
Yesterday, I attended my flrst healthcare fair at MSG. It was so crowded. There was a huge range of health professionals, from nurse assistants, nurses, medical technicans, PAs, therapists, etc reminding me that we are a part of one interdisciplinary team. It was an enjoyable atmposphere. There were PINKO games being played, prizes drawn and seminars given. I introduced myself for almost 2 hours. My feet were killing at the end that I had to clench my teeth and fake a smile.
So now that "it" is over, I now have to begin my search. I am praying to God that He leads me again and teach me not to be frozen in fear. My cousin offered a very good advice. Trust in God one day at at time. These words rings the very truth. There is nothing more I can do but trust. Without him, i really don't have anything but fear and anxiety.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

hoo hoo!

I passed!

Friday, April 22, 2005

Lactose intolerance

It's been a while since my last slice of double cheese pizza, that i forgot how I would react to it. Whew...last night I was tossing and turning until 3:30am,holding my stomach in pain. I made it to the bathroom, felt faint, saw my "pale as a ghost" face in the mirror and retreated to the closest sofa to crash. A couple of minutes later, i called out for my mom who was asleep in the living room.

Me: a faint voice)
Mom: who's there?!!!!
Me: mom, it's me. can you get me a glass of water? I can't make it to the kitchen.
Mom: Where are you?!
Me: I'm right here...
Mom: ai! you ate too much today!
Me: (Soaked in sweat, and rolling my eyes). mom, just get me a glass of water.

Thank God the water helped in settling my stomach. Never again .

Wednesday, April 20, 2005


Okay..let's talk about my "favorite" topic, gerontology. At one point in anybody's life, we are going to look at our changed faces, body and the years spent in occupation, family, education etc., and say "my gosh, I've grown so old" I really believe that although physical appearance changes, the person (the spirit) inside the body doesn't. Today, i saw some man yelling at an elderly lady across the street. It was a horrible sight to see this women being badgered. She was wiping the tears off her face as the man mocked and even imitated her. After he went off in a rampage, she finished wiping and continued on with her walk, obviously trying to forget what just happened.
Inside the bus, i saw two bleached and permed hair old ladies standing nearby the door, holding onto the bus poles and hanging on to dear life as the bus stopped or jolted. Adjacent to them were the 3 side seats reserved for seniors and the handicapped but were taken by teenagers!!! What is going on here?!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

beautiful photography

Originally uploaded by PictureTakinDevil.
I found great pictures at Flickr. The color is so vibrant. Man, I wish I had a digital camera. They bring the best feature into any photos.

Here is a pic I found in another website:

thoughts transcribed into images

my precious
Originally uploaded by naeng-myon.
Here is my sis with her IPOD

Sunday, April 17, 2005

coconut chicken

At around 2am I heard my mom screaming something about my dog. Afraid that he was dead or really sick, I jumped out of my bed, ran into the hallway and found him holding a piece of my coconut chicken in his mouth. I screamed and even spanked him to have him release the chicken bone. Then I placed him outside of my bedrom door for about 10 minutes; he was whimpering and begging to go inside. Out of pity, i let him in only to realize that he was retreiving another chicken bone in the bedroom. Bad dog!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Being productive with your leisure time

While I wait, I've been looking at volunteer organizations but they seem to be booked! Really wanted to join habitat for humanity. : ( [BIG FROWN!]
Began to upgrade my resume, finally looked into cosolidating my student loans and chose a method of payment, (hmm lets see), looked at the NYC opera to see available Carmen tickets , browsed the weather in San Juan, and confirmed my book orders from amazon. Lots of time in my hand.
I know this time will be missed once I get into work. Definitely not take leisure time for granted.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Emotional intelligence

Reflecting back on my years at "the program", it became clear that I should build an adaptive coping mechanism- one that is socially acceptable. I remember how I got so angry at the professors, my clinical supervior and a few of my classmates. Gosh, I need to learn to control my anger when I feel that I'm being run over. After reading about 100 pgs of Traveling Light and watching Tyra yell at one of the top model contestant, it became clear that emotional intelligence is the key to successful job hiring and maintenance. After watching the fury, I looked on online about emotional intelligence and even took a test. I can't pin point how to achieve a mature emotional intelligence. Is it through bibical studies, meditation and a consistent time management of quiet time? Or is it through psychotherapy and counseling? Maybe both. Whatever it is, I need to develop mine.

The Basics of Emotional Intelligence Include
Knowing your feelings and using them to make life decisions you can live with.
Being able to manage your emotional life without being hijacked by it -- not being paralyzed by depression or worry, or swept away by anger.
Persisting in the face of setbacks and channeling your impulses in order to pursue your goals.
Empathy -- reading other people's emotions without their having to tell you what they are feeling.
Handling feelings in relationships with skill and harmony -- being able to articulate the unspoken pulse of a group.

Monday, April 11, 2005

What I 've found

It's been almost 24 since my last entry. Lets see..what have i been doing.
1) I cleaned my room today, throwing unwanted notes, and finding class photos. To remove the past 2 1/2 years of graduate school and making space for something that is the beginning of your career feels both exciting and scary. I thought about the professors, the program...the classmates who are now my clinical peers. has been a tumultuous year of crazy class schedules, multiple projects, research, exams and clinical rotations. To have finished this life is a big relief, but bitter sweet. Goodbye to being a student and goodbye program. I offically recognize that I am off the leash.
2) Went with my mom to her friend's house to "love" match our sweetie with the friend's dog. It didn't go well. Poor sweetie. He was wimpering.
3) I keep running into this grandma in my apartment elevator or the lobby. She constantly asks me to join her church. So persistent. She was even grabbing my arm so she can lead me to her apartment.
4) An elder woman was telling me that my hair is flat. "You have flat hair. You know what they call that- no style- I'll take you to my salon. Wear some makeup but not like those girls who wears it like cake frosting. You need to catch a man". That was embarrassing.

Learn to the lonely

I've always disagreed with the genre of movies and broadway shows with a particular friend, but this one, I had to agree for I was literally bawling. Phantom of the opera stole my heart at the end . So much hatred in his heart and at the final end, he learned to forgive and be compassionate. Man...the way she plead with him and showed compassion allowed him to open his heart and in return let go. i couldn't stop tearing. That is very much the act of selflessness, true compassion and unconditional love. Can you ever love somebody for rejecting you? It literally tore me up inside. All the inhumane acts committed upon him- he had learned to hate and be lonely. But with one act of sincerity and compassion, he learned to accept and forgive. Do all human beings originially have some goodness in their hearts but are corrupted by the world? I believe that we have goodness because of the divine. It is something that men can't make up.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

not a young girl anymore

Man I'm getting old. I need to get out and mingle. Watching ppl get married around me makes me happy, but I can no longer watch passively. I need to get into the dating scene. It's time to take risk even though there is a possibility of getting hurt. But I guess that is why love is so precious.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Traveling light

traveling light
Originally uploaded by naeng-myon.
You ever wondered why things move smoothly and fast for others and not for you. Upon discovery you realized that you have been living in the past and in a bubble for all these years. It takes a big news to wake you up. Sometimes, this can be explained through God and his reasons on the questions of events and how this shapes your life. A long time ago someone hurt me very deeply and although I have moved on, I've carried the hurtful words he said. I believe it really shaped my perspectives and priorities but worse it instilled fear. It brought the best and worst out of me. And still today I am struggling and learning. When will I stop carrying and let go. Hopefully this book will bring some answers.

Friday, April 08, 2005

listening to

Originally uploaded by naeng-myon.
Grew up in a small town. And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window. Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy. I would pray (I would pray)
Trying hard to reach out. But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me. Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here. So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky. I'll make a wish. Take a chance. Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun .But I won't forget all the ones that I love. I'll make a wish .Take a chance .Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze. Sleep under a palm tree. Feel the rush of the ocean. Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will). And breakaway .Buildings with a hundred floors .Swinging around revolving doors .Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but .Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings. And I'll learn how to fly .Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye. I gotta take a risk. Take a chance. Make a change .And breakaway. Out of the darkness and into the sun. But I won't forget the place I come from .I gotta take a risk. Take a chance . Make a change. And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Something positive

I've been very angry these days that it's eating me up inside. The negative thoughts about my mom's work doesn't bring anything but misery especially in my circumstances. So to relieve myself, i just had to focus on the positive side of life, count my blessings, and be the better person by asking for forgivness and emphasizing on treating everyone with sensitivity and respect- the way God wants them to be treated. End of that story.
I don't want to be filled with hatred and bitterness. Life just isn't LIFE when you're preoccupied with injustices. My mom said, you just have to let it go and leave work where it is at. She is right, but it hurts to see her servicing these customers who treat her soo inhumanely. sniff. I do worry how things will be like when I leave. Though, I am very grateful that they are a few customers who appreciate her work and stand up for her when things get out of hand. In the future, she will retire and be happy.
Looking at my mom now, I discovered that she mastered the balance of work and home through humor, which I discovered to be very therapeutic. So tomorrow, i hope to see thing on the bright side when situations get gloomy.